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Chastity Ed Pastoral2 Bp Myers
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"A Fresh, Spiritual Way of Thinking"(Ephesians 4:23)
To Parents, Pastors, and Other Adults in the Church and Community
Introduction
Given the situation we face today in the Church and in the world, it is not enough for us
to make the young alone the center of attention in the area of sex education. As parents, pastors,
educators, and members of the wider community, we all have an obligation to be fully and
properly informed. We cannot simply assume that young people learn the truth. Indeed, if we
are to communicate it to them, we must know and understand the truth ourselves. We must live
and defend it.
This second pastoral letter, therefore, is addressed primarily to parents. Their
responsibility to their family necessitates an active role in the education and in the spiritual
formation of their children, especially when some of these tasks are shared with others. The
conditions of modern culture present difficult challenges that, at times, can seem overwhelming.
All who raise children have a right to expect support from the Church and from members of the
wider community. We must ensure by our own efforts that the young will learn and appreciate
those unalterable and timeless values by which the human person is enriched and fulfilled.
The circumstances and attitudes in our time that have damaged family life and demeaned
human sexuality must be responsibly and comprehensively addressed. Simply collapsing into the
mire of the "value-free" approach to education and human development will only lead to a deeper
and more painful solitude. Too many members of the human family find themselves in situations
that cause them to doubt their own worth and dignity. Too many young people, born to an era
characterized by a radical preoccupation with self, ask themselves the question, "Am I wanted?"
In light of the widespread use of contraception, the practice of abortion, and now the call for
legalizing such things as fetal experimentation and physician-assisted suicide, it is not surprising
that our Holy Father, Pope John Paul II, has termed our culture "a culture of death."
Into the darkness of this anxiety, the Church speaks a message of hope. The God who
reaches out to us through His Son has not abandoned us. We do not face the burdens and
challenges of daily life alone. Through the Church, Jesus walks with all men, women, and
children. He stands with two-parent families, with single-parent families, with all the different
dimensions of family life encountered today. While the unalterable model of family life is the
two-parent family, the Church walks with those for whom this model, for whatever reason, is not
a reality. Against the horizon of family life, the Church continues to preach Christ's consistent
and timeless message that sin and death have already been conquered, that the darkness has been
overcome.
To combat the negative influence of that part of modern culture that deceives and
demeans them, young people must see themselves in the positive light of the Gospel. Our youth
are not products of conception determined and enslaved by biology, genetics, race, class, sex, or
personal history. They are unique and irreplaceable individuals filled with the potential and
capability for living a life of human flourishing and eternal salvation. They will only see
themselves this way if we instill within them the vision of hope that is the spiritual way of
thinking made possible by life in Christ. We owe the young more than just any kind of
tomorrow. We owe them the tomorrow they deserve: the full and abundant life that comes to us
in Christ Jesus.I. Communion in the Human Family
A. Communion of Husband and Wife
The life that Christ offers has as its foundation certain fundamental truths about the
human person already revealed in the Old Testament. The Book of Genesis establishes these
truths in the context of man's origin and destiny. As the new Catechism of the Catholic Church
reminds us, man's origin is his destiny--living in intimate loving communion with God:
Of all the visible creatures only man is "able to know and love his creator." He is the
"only creature on earth that God has willed for its own sake," and he alone is called to
share, by knowledge and love, in God's own life. It was for this end that he was created,
and this is the fundamental reason for his dignity. (Catechism #356)
One way that this love out of which and for which the human person is created becomes a
reality is through the union of a man and woman when, blessed by the Creator, they become "one
flesh." The covenant in which a man and a woman give themselves to each other and accept
each other communicates and makes present the truth of God's own nature:
God who created man out of love also calls him to love--the fundamental and innate
vocation of every human being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who
is himself love. Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an
image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very
good, in the Creator's eyes. And this love which God blesses is intended to be fruitful
and to be realized in the common work of watching over creation ." (Catechism #12)
The loving communion of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit is expressed in a particular
way through the communion established in the conjugal covenant of a marriage that cooperates
with God in calling new human beings into existence.
The movement of a man and a woman from their father and mother toward one another
establishes the truth of God's nature and makes tangible the truth of human existence: it is not
good to be alone. The human person, created to live in truth and love, fulfills this need through
openness to God and to others. Through the mutual giving and receiving of self in the
communion of persons that occurs in marriage, a man and a woman are opened to that broader
communion that is the human family:
The family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband and
wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a
life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security,
and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one
can learn moral values, begin to honor God, and make good use of freedom. Family life
is an initiation into life in society. (Catechism #2207)
The plan of marriage that was, as Jesus reminds us, "from the beginning," is the means by
which God intends to establish the "human family" as a relationship of love and truth.
The family, therefore, is rightly called the most basic and fundamental element of society.
As the primordial community, it should be the privileged place in which persons learn and
experience the good of being persons-in-communion. The solidity of any society can always be
measured by the strength of the communion between spouses that is the foundation of the
community of the family.
B. Communion of Parent and Child
The degree to which persons are capable of giving of themselves to the broader
community for the sake of the common good is established, in part, by the success of the family
in the moral formation of children. Since the free and conscious decision to give oneself to
another finds its complete fulfillment in the procreation of new persons, the bodily union of
spouses is ordered toward the community of the family, whether or not procreation is intended or
even possible. The marital covenant not only allows a man and a woman to create a genuine and
new community by their mutual self-giving, the task and the challenge of fatherhood and
motherhood also allows parents to fashion children according to the truth and love that is the
foundation of the personal communion of the spouses. Children are not merely products of
biological fecundity, nor are they mere objects of their parents wants and wishes. Willed by God
from the very beginning, they exist from the moment of conception as new human beings, as
persons of intrinsic worth who bear the divine image and likeness. The relationship between
parents must enable the new human beings to understand themselves and others in terms of this
likeness with God.
Thus, the communion of spouses must be the lived expression of their openness to new
life, and their loving, permanent commitment to one another "until death." Within this context,
the creation of new human life makes incarnate the good for which a man and a woman cling to
one another. The words of consent to love and honor, being true in good times and in bad, in
sickness and in health, express that which is essential to the life of the spouses and to the life of
the future family. In the presence of the mystery of the new human life, spouses rediscover one
another and are re-awakened to the supreme Mystery of loving communion that is the source of
all love and life.II. Family Life
A. Challenges to Family Unity
The good of the community of the family enfleshed in new human life must be vigorously
protected. Certain popular attitudes about the marriage covenant and the purposes of conjugal
union are entirely opposed to the good of marriage and family life as expressed in the words of
consent. A firm decision never to have children, the use of contraceptives, an indifference to or
acceptance of the horror of abortion, all these things act against the communion between persons
that makes the community of the family possible. Anything that limits or prevents a married
person from giving completely and freely in a loving communion open to new human life works
against the full expression of one's humanity. As the Holy Father has said, "To love means to
give and to receive something which can be neither bought nor sold, but only given freely and
mutually."
The community of the family is founded on that selflessness by which a man and a
woman honestly, freely, and fully give themselves to one another. It is precisely through this
sincere gift of self that the human person finds himself. The good of family life is nurtured and
preserved when family members sacrifice self-interest for the good of the family:
The relationships within the family bring an affinity of feelings, affections and interests,
arising above all from the members' respect for one another. The family is a privileged
community called to achieve a "sharing of thought and common deliberation by the
spouses as well as their eager cooperation as parents in the children's upbringing."
(Catechism #2206)
The relationships within the family, in particular the relationship between the spouses, must
insure that no child be made to feel like an "orphan of living parents."
This responsibility to the family is the true good and is not terminated by separation or by
divorce, or even by circumstances in which new human life may be described as "not wanted,"
"accidental," or "un-planned." The needs and desires of parents should not come before the lives
and needs of children. The demands and responsibilities of motherhood and fatherhood are not
only financial, but extend to all that a child needs to discover himself as a person created in the
image and likeness of God. The longing for a new spouse and the desire to express oneself
sexually must not be placed over the good of the children. When the communion between the
spouses has broken down, when the sole care of the children falls on a mother or a father alone,
the children should not be made to feel as if their needs are secondary. Motherhood and
fatherhood must be for children a sign and proof of unconditional love that enables them to
discover and experience the height and depth and breadth of love.
B. Strength in Jesus
Because of the inner strength the Spirit pours into the heart of the believer, the challenges
and burdens that confront mothers and fathers are not insurmountable. A close, personal
relationship with Jesus Christ, enriched through substantial daily prayer and nurtured through the
sacraments, is fundamental to sustaining the indissoluble character of marriage that is so often
put to the test through social pressures that lead from freedom to conformity. Building good
habits, like family prayer, contributes to all areas of family life. Forming virtues from the earliest
years will be of special benefit to children as they move into their teenage years.
The hearts of spouses should be immersed in the revelation of those saving mysteries to
which the covenant union will give witness. Knowledge and acceptance of those truths that God
has revealed "from the beginning," and supremely in the person of Christ Himself, will preserve
the good of the family and continually renew the spouses in love:
By coming to restore the original order of creation disturbed by sin, [Christ] himself gives
the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the Reign of God. It is by
following Christ, renouncing themselves, and taking up their crosses that spouses will be
able to "receive" the original meaning of marriage and live it with the help of Christ. This
grace of Christian marriage is a fruit of Christ's cross, the source of all Christian life.
(Catechism #1615)
C. Mutual Gift of Self
The Biblical revelation about the foundation and pattern of loving that should form the
marital covenant centers upon what the Second Vatican Council describes as "a sincere gift of
self." This truth that gives meaning and identity to the human person is the very pattern of
personal loving communion revealed by Christ, "who came to serve and not be served," who
"lays down his life for his bride the Church," who desired to celebrate the paschal feast in order
to give His body and blood for the life of the world. The attitude of spouses must be that of
Christ. The willingness of spouses to serve each other's needs through mutual self-giving
guarantees they will be sustained. One does not live to serve the other; each must simply live for
the other.
When spousal communion is expressed through this mutual gift of self, the community of
the family will be characterized by the willingness of its members to serve one another in love.
The good of the family depends upon the sincere gift of self that marked Christ's own way of
loving. "Without this, marriage would be empty," and the transmission of life might seem a
burden, an obstacle, or a cause of frustration. The transmission of human life transcends the
physical. Through the union of their bodies, spouses should encounter the Eternal God who
knows and consecrates all human life--even before conception. Every child is a priceless gift
that should be welcomed for its own sake, an embodiment of the intimate and unbreakable bond
by which a man and a woman are united until death.
D. Support in the Church
The good of motherhood and fatherhood is affirmed and upheld by the Church. As a
special type of community, the Church is herself patterned after the primordial union of husband
and wife. Like a bridegroom, Christ gives Himself freely and completely to His bride, the
Church. Like Mary, the perfect disciple, the Church seeks to do the will of God in all things.
The community of the family is not only the basic element of society, it is also the basic element
of the Church. The family should be the first place where persons learn the true meaning of life,
the beauty of their existence, the love of the God who calls them into being.
This will be possible to the extent that mothers and fathers place Christ at the center of
their personal loving communion. If their longing to know and experience intimate loving
communion has been encountered in the redemption of Christ, they will naturally desire to share
with and pass on to their children the gift of God's love. They will not be afraid to raise their
children in the truth, not withstanding whatever mistakes and sins they may have committed.
Through the peace and reconciliation of Jesus, motherhood and fatherhood facilitate for children
an encounter with the God of gentleness and compassion who is slow to anger and rich in mercy.
Permeated with the love of God, parents will delight in forming their children according to the
truths of Christ as taught by His Church. Unencumbered by past failures, they will make
whatever sacrifices are necessary in the formation of their children in order to draw them close to
the God who has raised us all from the slavery of sin and fashioned us by His grace into His sons
and daughters.III. Responsibilities of Parents
A. Parents as Primary Educators
An active commitment to the physical and spiritual welfare of children will preserve the
young from the multitude of lies that lead to a life of slavery to sin. Therefore, parents must
accept their responsibility as primary educators of their children:
The fecundity of conjugal love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation of children,
but must extend to their moral education and their spiritual formation. "The role of
parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an
adequate substitute." The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are
primordial and inalienable. (Catechism #2221)
It is not enough simply to "be friends" with one's children, as if friendship and authority are
contrary. The authority inherent to motherhood and fatherhood is a requirement and demand of
love and a necessity for the good of the family. While not "lording it over their children,"
parents owe it to their children to provide firm direction, to share what they know, and, when
needed, to seek the assistance of resources that uphold the spiritual way of thinking that sets us
free. Loving does not consist of leaving the young to figure out life for themselves. True love
and genuine respect seeks the good of the other person because it recognizes in the other the gift
that each human life is. Motherhood and fatherhood assume this each time new human life is
allowed to be born.
B. Two Principles of Love
The demands of family love should be firmly grounded on two simple but essential
principles. The first concerns the dynamic of presence. Be present to your children; spend time
with them. No relationship can be sustained through frequent or permanent absence. Jesus
affirmed this truth of human personal communion when, before His death, He promised His
apostles that He would be with them always. Through the Eucharist, He has remained really,
truly, and substantially present to all people and all ages.
How much more, then, do children have the right to expect their parents to be personally
present to them. Separation, divorce, or re-marriage should not be used as excuses to give
parental responsibility to the Church, to the state, or to others. While circumstances may, at
times, require the assistance of members of the extended family, of agencies, or of institutions in
the rearing, education, growth, and development of the child--this should be the exception and
not the rule. Children should never be made to feel that their parents are not interested in the
struggles, the questions, the difficulties that are part of their growing up.
The second principle concerns the manner in which parents communicate with their
children. The good of any relationship requires honest communication. Since every person has a
right to the truth, parents must tell their children the truth--even when the truth is not popular.
Non-marital sexual conduct of any kind is destructive of personal integrity. Abortion is murder.
Contraception violates the meaning and significance of marital intercourse. Adultery is always
dishonest. Masturbation is a serious sin. Condoms do not always prevent infection from
sexually transmitted diseases. Genital sexual expression between members of the same sex is not
life giving and, therefore, can never attain one of the essential purposes for which God created us
as sexual beings. Because sin takes many forms, the truths of human sexuality must be honestly
spoken of and clearly explained to young people. The signs of the time demand that proven type
of charity that never shies away from the truth but which helps all persons to seek and to find it. IV. Encouraging the Young in Chastity
A. Teaching the Spirituality of Sexual Awakening
To a large extent, the welfare of the human family can be discerned in the attitudes and
behavior of the young. The successes and failures of those who have primary care for the good of
the community are assumed by the young in a unique way. While every generation has questioned
the meaning of human existence, the intensity with which the present generation of young people
raises this question should alarm us. But merely recognizing the situation is not enough. We must
also acknowledge that the tragedies giving poignant voice to the question of human existence are
problems that have a cause. The actions and attitudes of the young reflect the actions and attitudes of
those who came before.
From this perspective it rightly can be stated that the entire human family is indicted by the
problems associated with young people. Suicide, drugs, gang violence, a lack of respect and
appreciation for human life, teen-age pregnancy--these are not so much the legacy of the young as
they are the epitaph of the old. These social realities are not simply the fault of young people. While
they are responsible for the choices they make and the consequences of their actions, young people
will only understand the moral significance of their choices and actions to the extent that their lives
have been opened to the truth. What has been sown by one generation is reaped by another. The
welfare of the young demands a love from parents and adult members of the community that has the
strength to stand against the false doctrines of this age, to sow the seeds of truth that will yield a
harvest of justice and peace for the entire human family.
The most fundamental requirement for helping the young is teaching them the spiritual nature
of their sexual awakening. The ability to use the body sexually is not simply a physical phenomenon
that can be directed toward any goal or be expressive of any consensual or externally imposed
meaning. Teaching human sexuality as primarily a process of biology distorts that which is most
uniquely and characteristically human: the ability to express love.
Affirming the spiritual truths of human sexuality charges all believers to stand against the
cycle of destructive sexuality. It is not enough to exhort our young to live chastely from fear of
disease or pregnancy. Young people must be formed in a life of virtue from which a life of chastity
emerges as a response to the goodness, truth, and beauty of the entire human person--body, soul, and
spirit. We are body persons. Acting against the natural integrity of the human body diminishes the
whole person. The abuse of alcohol, the use of drugs, or a habit of sexual promiscuity prevents one
from experiencing the fullness of human life and can lead one to a fear and loathing of self and of
others.
B. Teaching Responsibility by Example
Calling young people to a responsible way of expressing themselves physically, emotionally,
and sexually requires that parents and adult members of the community build bonds of trust. The
young must know and experience from the community a commitment to their physical and spiritual
welfare. Such a commitment will encourage, foster, and support the truths we strive to teach them.
Responsibility toward the young is a good for the entire human family. Parents should not be
expected to act alone, to live out their responsibility without the support of the broader community.
What a tragedy that many parents and many members of the community attempt to use technology as
a replacement for their responsibility. How many parents, educators, social workers, and pastors
want to provide condoms or birth control pills and devices, rather than accept the demand of love
and teach the truth? By their actions they communicate to the young a lack of interest and a lack of
respect. Young people can live the truth; many are never given the chance.
C. Informing Public Policy
Perhaps the most courageous way in which we act on behalf of the young and for the good of
the human family is by informing public policy. By our baptism into Christ's death and resurrection,
we have an obligation to share His Good News with all the world. Religion is not to be lived out in
private. "No one lights a lamp and places it under a bushel basket." We have a right, indeed an
obligation, to express publicly the truths we profess:
It is part of the Church's mission "to pass moral judgement even in matters related to
politics, whenever the fundamental rights of man or the salvation of souls requires it. The
means, the only means, she may use are those which are in accord with the Gospel and
the welfare of all men according to the diversity of times and circumstances."
(Catechism #2246)
While law does not make morality, it does serve to teach and form members of a community. We
must insure that our laws foster and support a healthy public morality. We must not be afraid to call
the world to repentance, to a radical change of heart that opens the human person to the life prepared
for him from the foundation of the world.
Our responsibility to share the freeing truth of the Gospel includes supplying the resources
for establishing community programs that respect the truth of human sexuality and support true
human flourishing. To do this it will be necessary that we address attitudes and programs that are
not directed toward the good of family life. And we must resist the forces that would drive from the
public square religious voices and those whose moral understanding is religiously informed:
That ominous doctrine which attempts to build a society with no regard whatever for
religion, and which attacks and destroys the religious liberty of its citizens, is rightly to be
rejected.
Our responsibility to the wider community necessitates an active role in bringing renewal and reform
to every dimension of life--social, educational, political--that demeans or devalues human sexuality.
The cultural situation we face today threatens the good of family life at its very foundations.
When the federal government extends special protection to clinics that do violence to women and
children, when it goes so far as to impose special burdens on the freedom of speech of those who
protest such violence, the entire nation should cringe with horror and disgust. But, as a community of
believers, we should not fall back meekly and complacently. Now, more than ever before, our nation
needs from us a sign of hope in our unyielding commitment to that spiritual way of thinking that
exposes "the fruitless works of darkness" and draws all persons into the surpassing greatness of
Christ.V. Facing the Challenge
The urgency and importance of the challenge we face can make it appear overwhelming.
But, as with other crucial matters in life, it is important that we think things through calmly,
carefully analyzing each situation. Only then can we begin to act day by day, one step at a time.
But act we must, for the well being of the young is at stake. The future of the society in which
they will live hangs in the balance. To this end, I offer the following concrete suggestions.
A. For Parents
1. Continue to grow in your own relationship with Jesus Christ and in communion with
His Church. Lead your children in developing their spiritual lives by your own example
of faith, prayer, fidelity to your religious responsibilities, and upright living.
2. Trust the Lord and your own good judgement in rearing your children. Let
your children see you praying. Pray with your children and share your faith with
them. Talk to your children. Take the time to know what is going on with them.
Be involved in school programs and in other programs in which they are involved.
Exercise your rights to examine materials and to be fully informed. Do not be
afraid to withhold your consent for your children to participate in programs you
consider harmful or ill-advised.
3. Reject programs that promote attitudes towards human sexuality and ways of
life that are opposed to chastity. Safeguard you children from programs that hand
out birth control pills, condoms, and other contraceptive devices.
4. Help unmask a philosophy of human sexuality that pretends to be value free
but, to the contrary, proposes false values and condones activities that undermine
human dignity.
5. Band together to help one another meet your responsibilities and to help set a
new direction in our communities. Parish groups might be formed. Efforts with
other churches can be helpful. In communities having only public school systems,
community-wide groups may be necessary.
6. Individually and with other groups that share common interests, exercise your
rights to speak up and influence policies and programs proposed by school boards,
school administrators, individual teachers, and other public services.
7. Continue to grow in the knowledge of your faith. Learn the beauty of the
Church's message about human sexuality. Have in your home materials, like the
new Catechism of the Catholic Church, that will help you to instruct your children
about the rich heritage of the Catholic faith.
B. For Priests
1. Strive to lead and serve people by your own example as a disciple of Christ
and true son of the Church. An example of generous self-giving through service
will help make apparent that celibacy is an effective way of loving.
2. Continue to teach clearly the Catholic understanding of human sexuality in the
opportunities afforded you, including, when appropriate, the Sunday homily. In
addition to sharing the profound Catholic vision of human sexuality, people
should be called to repent for their sins, to use the Sacrament of Reconciliation,
and to continue their conversion to Jesus Christ.
3. Encourage parents to meet their responsibilities and be ready to assist them
personally and through well-designed programs.
4. Ensure that any program in the school or religious education program meets
standards set by the Diocese. This will involve significant parental participation.
5. Be willing to cooperate in appropriate area-wide programs, especially with
other Catholic institutions. Undertake ecumenical cooperation when appropriate
and possible.
6. Find ways to facilitate the formation of mutual help groups for parents, and
encourage groups of parents to be involved in the formation of local public policy.
C. For Diocesan Officials
1. The Vicar General will chair a task force to formulate more precise diocesan
policies and programs for chastity education and to propose them for
consideration. He will include the Office of Catholic Education, the Office of
Family Life, the Diocesan Commission on Education, the Natural Family
Planning Office, and any other diocesan offices or programs in the process. The
focus should be on affirming and supporting parents in their responsibilities and
in helping priests, teachers and other Church members to assist them. VI. Conclusion
As a community of believers, we face many of the same struggles and difficulties as that
ancient community in Ephesus. The unique signs of our own time, nonetheless, bring us face to
face with the timeless truths of Jesus. His words are for every age, because Jesus is the same
yesterday, today, and forever.
The difficulties we face today, young or old, rich or poor, ill or healthy, must be met with
the attitude of Christ, who never thought equality with God something to be grasped at. Most
of the problems and tragedies of our day result from an attitude that claims equality with God.
The world and all material reality is perceived by many as a possession belonging to the human
family. Without acknowledging the Creator, the world is treated as something that, through our
ingenuity and artifice, we can master and dominate rather than as a gift with which we are
entrusted. Nowhere is this attitude and manner of behavior more destructive than in terms of
human sexuality. How sad it is that human fertility is now regarded as a burden and a curse from
which women must be liberated. The human inclination to evil has ushered in new atrocities that
seek to destroy human relationships.
But love is stronger than this. To re-kindle the hope that is ours as believing parents,
pastors, educators, social workers, doctors, politicians, we have only to look to Our Lady. If we
will take a courageous stand beside our young, protecting them from all that will bring them pain
and harm, we have only to seek the comfort and support of the Virgin of Nazareth, whose own
fecundity resulted from the power of God's life-giving Spirit. To the Woman who crushes the
head of the serpent, whose children will always be at enmity with the prince of this world, we
should lift up our hearts in prayer. And when we feel that the world rejects us, we must
remember that it first rejected her Son.
May the Mother of God, the Spouse of the Holy Spirit, the New Eve, intercede for us, that
our hearts may be enlightened to the truth of our existence and the love for which we have been
created.
Given at my Chancery, the 9th day of January, the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, in the
year of Our Lord 1995.
___________________________________________
Most Reverend John J. Myers, S.T.L., J.C.D.
Bishop of Peoria
Notes